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Being an assistant to a firm partner always put Olivia in an awkward position of being professional and caring too much. She was naturally a nurturer and she was damn good at organising their lives. Sometimes her own personal feelings kind of get in the way and she ends up mothering her superiors and that was a bit of a problem. For her.
Especially now when she actually had more than professional emotions and feelings for her superior. Seeing Teddy in a funk was something new. She was so used to the woman being a commanding presence wherever she went that it was such a strange concept seeing her withdraw within herself.
The first night after the first meeting, Olivia left her alone because she thought Teddy needed space. By the second night, when Olivia asked Teddy if she wanted dinner and got ignored, the paralegal decided to put her foot down.
Knocking on her bedroom door, Olivia cleared her throat before calling out. "Teddy, can we talk?"
For the most part, Teddy was an expert at handling stress. She rarely wore the negative disorder in front of other people, because she rarely let it overcome her. She liked to consistently show the perfection she had already become known for. The last thing anyone wanted or needed to see was a lawyer turn to pieces at the threat of failure, so she didn't show it.
She did, however, go quiet. She lost that little spark that allowed her to offer a majority of the laid back, humoured banter she'd grown accustomed to with her associate. Olivia had been kind enough to give her grace after the first day was done and she hadn't managed to settle this case. But another day had passed, and she wore the signs of what felt like impending failure.
She disappeared into her room of the place they shared, assuming that would be it for social interaction for the night. She didn't expect to hear a knock at the door. It was definitely Olivia, and if Teddy had to guess, she was about to remind the Brit to eat something before she fell asleep.
She looked at herself in the silence. Every inch of her perfect armour was gone. She'd already shed the dress she wore that day, swapping it out for Cambridge University printed sweats. Her heels were by the door she'd have to open. She'd let her hair down, fingers dragging through it to draw it out of the way. How ridiculous would it be to put it all back together now?
As she stepped up to the door, Teddy was highly grateful she hadn't washed off her make up yet. She pulled it open with shoulders squared, eyes searching through glasses to catch the set that had been looking for her. "Is something wrong?" She asked her lightly, concern filtering through her words with a little too much ease.
When Teddy opened the door, her casual wear surprised Teddy as she was so used to her superior always being dolled up in sharp suits. Briefly, she allowed herself to appreciate how Teddy looked with her hair down before she stepped back a little and looked at her face.
"I was going to ask you the same thing." She said. She wanted to reach out, to give the other woman physical comfort, to let her know that Olivia was there for her. In the end, she crossed her arms over her stomach, biting her lower lip before giving the other woman a sympathetic smile.
She lost Teddy's gaze once she spoke. There were the very slightest twitches in her muscles. In the briefest of moments, she allowed herself to catch sight of them, knowing all too well what they meant. She tilted her head up a hair to force her attention back up again.
On some level, it felt wrong to use her ability to read this woman. Like cheating.
Her initial response was to exhale an audible sigh. Then she reached out, following the physical cues as her hand brushed against her crossed arms to give one a light squeeze. "Your concern is... Flattering, actually." She admitted. When she let go, it was only because she stepped past her, leaving the safety of her bedroom.
She took a seat in the common area they shared instead, turning her attention back to Olivia as quickly as she could. "Come sit. Let's talk."
She did not like how easily goosebumps raised when Teddy touched her arm so she was glad that the other woman spoke. At least she could concentrate on that instead. Even better, she was allowed a reprieve from the intense eyes for a minute as they crossed the living room.
Olivia opted to sit on the armchair, a little away from Teddy but close enough that the other woman wouldn't think she was avoiding her.
"I don't want to presume anything but might this be because of work?" Olivia asked a beat after they were both settled.
Out of physical range, but Teddy didn't think anything of it. With the offer out in the open, she was patient to wait for Olivia to fill the silence between them. Her hands pressed together in her lap, breaking apart briefly so she could adjust her glasses.
She should have known it would be an obvious thing for someone else to pick up on. There was only one altered factor between days ago and now, and it was the very reason they were there.
"You're right." She admitted, giving herself a few more seconds to try and figure out how best to explain herself. "I find it frustrating." She frowned slightly. It didn't feel right. Or rather, it didn't feel like enough; "I find being stalled frustrating."
Teddy not hesitating in telling her made Olivia breathe out a soft sigh of relief. It was surprisingly a lot easier to get Teddy to talk than she initially thought.
She frowned slightly though when she somehow didn't find her answer satisfying. There had to be more than the stalling that she found frustrating. Teddy didn't seem to be the type of woman who would be defeated by something so small.
Olivia decided to just ask what she had been thinking, hoping Teddy wouldn't take offence. "And you think it's because you're not doing enough?"
Teddy couldn't help but get distracted by the meaning behind the conversation between them. Seconds in and this woman was trying to look beyond what she had given freely. Here they were, trying to search beneath falsified perfection to find a better reason for something. Frustration probably wasn't enough. She looked surprised.
"No one's ever asked me that before." She admitted instead. It was hard to make a definitive decision when it'd never crossed her mind before.
Teddy looked away then, weighing up the pros and cons of letting this talk go any further. Her teeth sunk into her lip; dinner once a week with a colleague could have been called crossing the line, too. Favouritism, easily. "I always expect more of myself, if that's what you mean." She admitted then, "I always have. I probably always will."
Olivia immediately regretted her line of questioning when Teddy looked away. She was ready to back out but paused when her boss did finally answer her. In that brief moment, Olivia thought Teddy looked quite vulnerable. Like she was a lot younger than...wait, Olivia never asked her how old she was.
Before her mind spiralled, she decided to concentrate on the subject matter at hand.
"That's...not entirely what I meant but...you understand that circumstances usually deviate from your expectations, yes?" Olivia gently reminded her. "Just because we're trained to think three steps ahead at all times and prepare contingencies...our clients are volatile. Meta or not, they're all driven by their emotions." She paused and bit her lower lip, wondering whether she was now talking too much.
At the response given, Teddy couldn't help but smile. She broke in a small moment within their serious discussion to give such a look. No, it wasn't exactly what she meant. She knew that already. That was the point, in a way.
She listened, allowing Olivia to have the floor as she'd initially asked for it. To talk of people being driven by their emotions peaked her interest briefly, but she knew she'd have to let it pass for now.
"I absolutely understand that. Don't think that I don't." She replied quickly, exhaling on a small laugh. She wouldn't be very good at her job if she didn't. "In fact, you make such a good point, you know? Being driven by how we feel, I mean."
With another sigh, she drew her fingertips through her hair, fixated on keeping the stray strands out of her sight line. She wanted to keep her captured for this. "I feel like I'm better than how this entire situation is making me look. Though, I do feel saying that must make me sound extremely arrogant to you." At least she could acknowledge both those things in tandem.
She didn't quite catch the double meaning of Teddy's response at first but as Teddy continued speaking, Olivia actually caught up to the fact that Teddy somehow knew. It gave her pause and wondered just how much Teddy knew about why, in fact, Olivia was so concerned for her boss' well-being.
At Teddy's remark about her coming off as arrogant, Olivia frowned and shook her head, giving out a short, airy laugh. "Your work is exceptional, Teddy. I've worked for brilliant people before and you've surpassed them by a mile in the small amount of time I've worked with you. And I'm not just blowing air up your ass right now." Olivia responded candidly, not even bothering to catch herself. "I understand needing to expect better of yourself but...you're not taking care of yourself because of it."
Olivia leaned back against the chair and folded her hands over her lap and swallowed inaudibly. "I'm sorry if I'm being a nag. I've been known to uh...care too much." She ran both her hands through her hair and chuckled lightly.
Confidence easily bled into arrogance. Teddy knew that. She'd worked with the type before, and at a certain point even she had to admit that she was the type. Usually she didn't care that it was a common fact, because she wore it on her sleeve with every step she took. But here, for whatever reason, she didn't seem to want it to be so.
Pressed lips couldn't stop the way she laughed at the ego-bolstering words that flowed from her mouth. Heavy handed flattery melted into an intervention-style take on an observation made by someone outside her life who felt they had the weight to stand near the inner circle.
In silence, Teddy smiled at her sincerely, catching her eyes and keeping them for as long as she could.
"I know that you care about me." Teddy offered, and this time she kept her tone light. It felt like a fact burned into her skin at this point, but she wasn't entirely sure she should be admitting to the knowledge of it. She wasn't even sure if she should accept it, but there she was, letting it hang in the air between them like it was so light.
"You're not the first person to tell me that." She continued on finally; "This kind of dedication has cost me a lot in my life."
Olivia looked away when Teddy's intense stare became too much. Even without the additional feelings she had for the other woman, Olivia wasn't good at eye contact. It didn't help that the tone Teddy took in that remark held something a lot heavier, at least in Olivia's ears.
Teddy was being gracious about all this. She knew, obviously. Olivia didn't actually have a subtle bone in her body and Teddy had the uncanny ability to see things other people didn't. She needed to stop being so free about her emotions. Especially since Teddy was with Emmett. She had forgotten in the span of a few days of that small fact.
"That doesn't bother you?" Olivia asked. She couldn't imagine burying herself so much in work that her personal relationships crumbled. She tried very hard to make sure that Kenny and Cam knew she was available for them. But she supposed to be in Teddy's position would probably be different because she had different responsibilities.
Teddy should have seen the question coming. Perhaps part of her did, and she was somehow willing to give into it anyway. She didn't know, but the second it hit the air, everything felt a little different. Again, there she was, sitting in silence that she knew she had to break one way or the other. She had to consider how far she was willing to go; how invested she was in letting this person in.
"It did." She admitted, eyebrows twitching once with the threat of something deeper.
Shifting in her seat, she moved to cross one leg over the other. Hands still settled together, and when they broke apart, one lifted the glasses from her face and shifted them to the top of her head. "This level of success - at my age - costs a lot." She started, rolling her shoulders back. Pausing in a thought, she considered her options and chose her wording incredibly carefully.
"It's hard to be with someone who doesn't understand why there's so much dedication to relative strangers."
Going quiet as Teddy spoke, Olivia tried not to show too much emotion. She did feel sympathy for Teddy. It sounded like she had a bad breakup because of work. It reminded Olivia of her own breakup with her last boyfriend. It was more that he didn't want to take time off his work for her, not that he couldn't.
On the other hand, Olivia did understand where Teddy was coming from. Teddy hit so many of the supposed limitations to being a success. She was a gay mutant. She probably had to work doubly hard in their field to get to where she was at such a young age. Olivia didn't think she could handle that kind of pressure. No, she knew she couldn't handle that kind of pressure. Which was certainly why she was dead set on being an assistant for a long time.
"And you still think this settlement is worth not taking care of yourself?"
