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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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The look of confusion only seemed to make matters worse for the brunette. Like she couldn't put it together that every step taken that morning had such a huge influence on the way they sat across from one another now. Worse, was how she failed to recognize something Natalie struggled with herself; admitting when she deserved something. "Why don't you think on that." Natalie replied instead, tired of having to spell it out for someone. She needed to put in the effort.
With perfect timing, her drinks were called out and Natalie was quick to stand up. "If you were a little more open to yourself, maybe you'd be able to see that." She stated before starting to go get the smoothies.
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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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118 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
Natalie's response caused Lena to sigh and as the brunette stood up to get her drink, the redhead rubbed her face with both her hands, trying to figure out exactly what Natalie was so upset about.
Natalie had told her that she didn't care about the casual aspect nor did she care about her sleeping with other people. So what exactly was the problem?
When Natalie came back, Lena leaned against the chair and regarded the brunette. "I'm sorry, Natalie." She stared, shaking her head. "I thought I was being honest, letting you know what the deal is. But you said it wasn't about the multiple partners I have so I honestly don't know what is upsetting you."
got that good soul in my feet
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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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With the two drinks Natalie purchased secured in her hands, she had every intention on leaving, but it required her to circle back around to get to the door. When an apology left Lena's lips, it hauled a sigh out of the brunette. Why was she apologizing if she didn't even understand what it was for? It felt like an out. "I had just told you." Her anger was getting to the better of her at this point, causing anxiety to skyrocket.
Was it really too much to ask to be treated like more than some fling? There was a middle area between full commitment and complete disregard for a person. Or, at least, Natalie believed it to be so. For the dancer, she wasn't so sure.
"I thought I could be okay with this, but I'm not." She started for the door, though slowing down a little to look at the dancer briefly. "I've explained it to you as best I could. Why don't you just think about it for a little bit?" Turning again, she headed out the door, hoping that there was a Lexus in the parking lot.
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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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237 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
Lena didn't want things to end on a bad note especially not with someone she called her best friend. Lena had acquaintances or Lena had sleeping buddies. Natalie was...in the middle. Was it too much to think she could get away with having a best friend she slept with occasionally?
Natalie leaving prompted Lena to get up and follow her.
"Natalie," she called out, running after the brunette. "Nat, you weren't just a hook up. The past three years, I didn't know you even liked women and that night you wanted people to act on what they felt and I did. You were receptive so I continued. I didn't lie about wanting to do that with you since we met. I just didn't know you liked women until that night."
She was just rambling now and she didn't know exactly what she was saying or whether it even mattered to Natalie but she needed to make Natalie understand her thought process. "I wanted to do it again and that's why I told you about my other partners, to see whether you would be okay with it. And it didn't seem like you were so I backed off. I don't know what else to tell you to convince you that I think more of you than just some hook up. You're my best friend, Nat."
She released a shaky breath, hoping she wasn't just making things worst.
got that good soul in my feet
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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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Fast steps had her out the door and the brisk air was a welcome change, even if didn't have a jacket on to protect her from the chill. Dark eyes looked around for a familiar car, but before she could catch sight, she was being called out to.
Briefly, she considered not turning around, especially when the redhead was offering a recap of the whole event. When she did turn, she felt shaken. By no means did she want to fight, but it was so frustrating that Lena didn't seem to understand at all. "You keep saying things like that. That you have feelings for me and that I'm your best friend, but your actions are so much louder. It makes it hard to believe what you're saying."
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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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174 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
Natalie's words caused Lena to shake her head. "No. No that is not what I meant. Oh my God our lines keep getting crossed." She took a deep breath and released it slowly. "No, you know what, I'm being obtuse. And I'm clearly missing something because I don't know what I'm doing to make you think that I'm not trustworthy."
Lena ran her fingers through her hair, looking at Natalie in frustration. Not with her but with the situation. "I don't know what I can do to make you believe me. And I still don't know what exactly you want from me."
The redhead's blue eyes dropped to the floor before she closed it. "I can lose my need to have sex with you but I don't want to lose my best friend. You're one of two people in this entire city that I've grown close to and I don't want to lose that. But I will respect your decision if our friendship is too much for you. I won't begrudge you that freedom."
got that good soul in my feet
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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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Worked up as she was, it was hard to calm down and take a step back. Because what the brunette gathered most was that she still couldn't understand what the problem was. It brought guilt running through her veins, like she had no capacity to properly explain herself. Or that these thoughts were so obscure that they really didn't make sense at all. She lifted a hand, running it through her hair as she tried to just breathe.
"I'm sorry." And she meant it. The words carried a sort of defeated sadness she didn't quite know how to handle. "I don't want to lose your friendship, but... this is really hard. I just - I'm going to take some space."
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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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135 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
Space. She would have to settle for more time apart from Natalie. Again. She should be grateful that the brunette hadn't wanted to cut ties completely.
"Okay." Lena responded, deflating as she looked down to the ground. There was nothing else she could do. She'd already said her piece. She had done proper damage and she had a feeling there was no going back to whatever they had before.
Even if Natalie somehow found it in herself to forgive Lena, it wouldn't be the same anymore. And Lena had to accept that. Natalie might have said that she didn't want to lose their friendship but Lena already felt that they just did.
"Take care of yourself." Lena's voice cracked at the end before she turned around and made her way back up for her classes.
got that good soul in my feet
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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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There was an easy acceptance to her request for more space, and Natalie had to be a little thankful that Lena didn't argue it. The trainer wasn't meant to be a fighter, and she already felt exhausted from the conversation they just had.
That didn't stop her from catching the strain in Lena's voice when she said to take care. "You too." She had to offer, because despite her anger she still wished for the redhead to be well.
Turning, she looked back to the parking lot, dark eyes landing on the black car that was there to pick her up. She had to wonder if she witnessed anything before making her way to the vehicle.
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