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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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77 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
Unsure of their footing anymore, Lena spent the entire class going through the motions without much regard over what she was even doing. She understood why Natalie had closed up but she didn't want to accept it.
Worst still, it had something to do with her and the fact that she couldn't do anything to remedy it was bleak. By the end of class, Lena was second guessing herself before finally decided to approach Lena.
"Smoothie downstairs?"
got that good soul in my feet
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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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As the class progressed, Natalie was happy that she had made the decision to come. It was something she missed, and the idea of never returning wasn't even an option for the trainer. When the class wrapped up, she stretched out her legs, leaning forward again with her head tucked down by her knees. Just enough to loosen up before she stood again. When she sat back up, she caught sight of the dancer, and a familiar offer was on the table.
A quick glance at the clock informed her she had the time. "Sure," she replied. "I've been craving one." Hopping to her feet, she started to roll up the lime green mat. When she secured it, she stood up straight. "Shall we?"
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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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83 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
The walk down to the juice stall wasn't filled with the usual chatter between the two. It felt different and Lena hated it.
She paid for her drink and then found a place for them to sit. "I really don't like this energy between us." Lena finally admitted with a forced chuckle. She pressed a thumb against her brow bone, smoothing the brows down.
"I know I can't expect us to go back to normal but you're looking at me differently than before."
got that good soul in my feet
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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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Lena was often the more chatty person between the two. In the past, it was often easy to keep a conversation going, given that the dancer would fill in any gaps left. As they walked downstairs to the smoothie bar, that didn't seem to be the case. The silence wasn't really uncomfortable, but it strayed away from the norm. As Lena ordered her drink, Natalie considered the options in front of her, placing an order for two before making her way over to sit by the dancer.
She looked so frustrated, and Natalie felt the tension rise again.
Her eyebrows furrowed at the statements offered to her, lips forming a little line as she waited a beat. Were they going to dive into this here? Apparently so. "I don't think they are going to go back to normal, Lena." She replied honestly, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm just - trying to figure out who you are."
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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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51 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
Hearing the confirmation from Natalie was a blow to the redhead but she had expected this. But now all she wanted to do was know why. Natalie's next statement caused a frown to appear on Lena's face.
"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" She asked, her tone tight but level.
got that good soul in my feet
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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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A the frown Lena wore was obvious, and Natalie sucked in a quick breath at the sight of it. Hard as all this was, she still didn't want to cause any potential pain. But she was asked, and Natalie squeezed her hands together as they rested on her lap.
"You're not really... honest." Really, the trainer didn't know how to voice her thoughts gently, despite how low her voice was. "At least,not to me."
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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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61 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
When Natalie answered, Lena froze before her frown deepened.
"How much more honest do you need me to be, Natalie? I wasn't aware that I was lying to you about anything." Lena responded, her voice just as low as Natalie's.
She racked her brain for a time when she lied and she couldn't come up with anything. She was so confused.
got that good soul in my feet
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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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Natalie's eyebrows rocked upward at the reply she received - though it shouldn't have been much of a surprise. Lena was always quick to argue her point, especially in the case of a threat. And she supposed - by that defensive reply - that Natalie was considered to be one.
Tension ran through her jaw as she clenched it. It wasn't like her to get so easily frustrated, but this was a situation she never found herself in before.
This wasn't the place to do this - and frankly, Natalie didn't want to do it here. In a public place she frequented, but this sparked an aggression in her that she wasn't often known for. "You lied to me about caring about me as a friend or otherwise." Blunt words cut to the point. "Or you do, but you're lying now and trying to act cool about everything."
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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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96 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
Her stomach dropped and it felt like there was a squeeze around her heart when Natalie finally responded. Lena could see the frustration that had built in her friend and it caused heartache to the dancer.
"Natalie, we've been friends for three years. Why would I lie about caring about you? I do." Lena's voice softened and wavered slightly. "I don't understand why you think I'm lying to you about that. You're easily the best friend I've had since I moved here."
It made her even more confused that Natalie would think so low of her.
got that good soul in my feet
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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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It was a lot to say that her friend didn't care, but the stress that built up was hard to contain. Natalie felt cornered - more so given that they weren't even talking about this in private. Her lips pursed tightly, eyes drawing shut for a few moments as she took in a breath to try and collect herself. Or, at least to calm down. Part of her just wanted to walk out. She wasn't even good at arguing in the first place.
"Then why'd you act like you did that morning?" She questioned with a kind of desperateness. Really, she wanted to know the motives behind Lena's moves. "Or - if you really do care, why are you trying so hard to pretend not to?"
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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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104 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
Lena looked at Natalie, dumbfounded. Even with her response, the redhead still couldn't see what Natalie was getting at.
"Like what, Nat? What did I do or not do that morning that's gotten you all twisted up?" She asked, her own desperation at getting to the truth coming out in her tone. An overwhelming need to take Natalie's hand washed over Lena.
"I don't get it, Nat. I was being truthful. I was trying to be fair to you so our lines don't get crossed. I like casual sex, I'm not gonna pretend like I don't. My feelings for you aren't gonna change that."
got that good soul in my feet
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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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Nat kept her hands firmly in her lap, each hand tightly wrapped around the other. It was something to focus her frustration on. Because questions were thrown in her direction, but her attention grabbed onto that last statement.
"So are you saying you do have feelings? Because I don't think anyone would have guessed that." Her tone sounded almost bitter, eyebrows furrowing. "I'm not stupid, Lena. I know you're casual, but that doesn't excuse you from lacking any place on the emotional spectrum when it came to us." She did her best to keep her tone as quiet as she could, given their location, but it was still painful to have to break it down in such a public place.
"You know it was my first time with a woman." They had been close, after all. "Did you take any consideration to that after you fucked me and wanted to move on with your morning?" It wasn't like Natalie to use a curse so forcibly, but it was the best descriptor for the moment. "Because you definitely didn't act like you did."
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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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108 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
"You know how I feel about you, and you know I won't be able to commit." Lena sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I wasn't trying to move on with my morning like you were just a footnote. If I wasn't drunk, I would have told you before I..." Lena paused to try and find a better word than what Natalie had used. "Before we slept together."
She looked at Natalie, defeat obvious in her face. "What were you expecting of me, Natalie? Like, really. Because I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to continue sleeping with you. I'm just not looking for a relationship."
got that good soul in my feet
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Sept 27, 2018 13:57:35 GMT
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Natalie immediately shook her had at the idea of knowing what Lena was feeling. It was almost enough to make her laugh at the situation itself, if only because she had no idea how to react. Her lips pursed tightly as she exhaled heavily through her nose. Finally, she made a shift of her posture, leaning forward only to press her forearms against the table, as if the hard surface could somehow ground her.
"I'm not asking for a relationship. I didn't want commitment with you." Was that really necessary to point out? "What I'm asking for is to be treated more than just some stranger you hooked up with at a bar." They'd known each other for years - didn't that earn something? "I deserve better than that."
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Oct 11, 2018 13:57:37 GMT
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48 Words
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can't stop the feeling
i got that sunshine in my pocket
"Wait, what?" Lena sputtered, scrambling to remember the day after and how she had done anything remotely how Natalie had described her to have done. She wanted to stay but she knew Natalie was upset so of course she left.
"What did I do?" She asked, genuinely confused.
got that good soul in my feet
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