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A morning jog around the park was all he asked for. The very first-morning jog, in fact, where he had but a chance of being distracted from what he called Lux to do, he sat on a bench, breathing heavily, pulse risen to a near-heart attack, and it took a few seconds to fully realize what he just did.
….The invite was sent….
No going back now,
All Jack felt was an encroaching sense of dread began filling his stomach, his jaw tightened
...What’s the worst that could happen?
Yeah it was probably best, That Jack left that question open-ended
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
She'd gotten the text right as she'd ended her shift at the diner. She was tired and exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go back home and get a few hours of sleep before she had to take the extra shift at the bar she'd been offered the previous day.
But she couldn't very well leave Jack to himself. It was strange, him inviting her like that. She wondered if he was in any kind of trouble.
How could she possibly ignore that?
"Hey," she said, stepping up to the bench and taking a seat, head leaned back as she closed her eyes. The gentle rays of the sun hit her face and she sighed. It felt nice.
There was nothing that Jack dreaded more than the question “Why” Jack was a creature that seemed to act totally on instinct with just about everything and anything he did, that wasn’t to say he was a man that was incapable of reason. He led with his heart not with his head and while he didn’t see this as strictly a bad thing- More often then not it did leave him having to deal with the question “Why?” Which Jack just seemed to struggle with more often than not, his actions made perfect sense to him, and they should have been self-evidence but when it came to explaining them….He could never quite do it in a way that made him appear….rational.
Which naturally led to the question; “Why was Jack doing this now?” if he was going to do this he would have done it in high school, he would have done it when he was drunk, he would have done it when he was repressing the urge, to crack the faces of every boyfriend Lux has ever had with a baseball bat. Honestly given this was Jack McCarthy, the very fact he has never told Lux he had feelings for her demonstrates superhuman levels of self-restraint by his standards And the answer was painfully obvious, He feared what Lux would tell him, he was well aware of what people thought of him, he knew full well in any rational world he wouldn’t stand a chance with her, but not confronting the idea full on...He could keep hold of it. But now? Now he needed to know
Sat on the beach and tilted his head towards the direction of her best friend offering her a thin smile “Hey” he greeted, doing his best impression of a march hare tapping his foot rapidly against the pavement almost subconsciously as he lapsed into silence.
“Do you ever think when you get dressed if you die that day, that’ll be your ghost outfit forever….I've been thinking about that a lot..."
His question had the brunette furrowing her brows. "I've never thought about that." She shrugged, eyes opening to look at her friend. "But I don't think dressing like you could die any day would be very healthy." At least, death was something Lux didn't think about. She knew it was coming, but she wasn't going to confront it. Not yet.
Straightening in her seat, she turned towards Jack. She rested her hands in her lap and stifled a tired yawn. "What's up, Jack? I'm assuming that isn't why you asked me to meet you..." She looked around; It was such a peculiar place for him to ask for the two to meet. "...Here."
He looked worried somehow, as if dreading whatever came next. She knew him well enough at this point; As hard as he tried to hide it, something was on his mind.
Jack grimmished a little, once the full weight of his own words hit him, he shouldhave learned by now not to mention death in front of Lux, it made him feel uncomfortable and she was sure Lux didn’t need to be reminded of the shadow of death on her person at all times, she was well aware of it as it was…..
Jack merely shrugged his shoulders trying to move on from the subject “Cool, cool, yeah yeah, I gotcha” he muttered his eyes on the ground wringing his hands as he did his foot bouncing rhythmically “So….I…” Jack trailed off, a frown coming to his face having no clue how do begin, he was emotionally stunted and on these occasions it really showed
“Are you...like, doing anything saturday? I was thinking we could hang out “
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
She stared at him for a moment; He'd invited her to ask her to hang out? She felt tempted to point that out, but instead, simply sighed. Couldn't he just have texted her? And what was up with how weird he acted about it?
"Uhm." She furrowed her brows, thinking. "Yeah, I think I'm free." She offered him a shrug. She didn't think she had work that day, but that could easily change. "What did you have in mind?" She liked hanging out with Jack. After all, he was her only friend. Especially now after the school had moved and she didn't have nearly as much time for him now that she had two jobs.
…”I mean I know-What what really?!” Jack's head jolted up almost by instinct eyes dark eyebrows shooting up in surprise as if he wasn’t exactly sure she had agreeded,
Was it-Could it have been that easy? After all this time, such a simple response? Maybe Lux held a torch for him for as long as he had her? No, No way there was no way Jack would ever be that lucky
And the way Luxanna said that…..
…..Oh, she didn’t get the idea…. “I mean we can do anything we want, We can just hang out in my place eat Pizza and just go through the entire horror catalogue of Netflix; Have you heard this time called Black mirror, I already think Mirrors are just unsettling as a concept...Remember that one time I got drunk and rang you at two am and we asked you how do we know if we’re not the mirror” Jack paused shaking his head before moving on
“.....But I’m not asking to hang out, I’m asking to HANG out….” Jack said hoping his meaning would be more clear
She stared at him, expression blank; Whatever he was trying to say, the brunette didn't catch on. Then again, she supposed that wasn't really new when it came to Jack. She had known him for years now and even she had trouble understanding what he really meant from time to time.
"I'm not following." She tilted her head at him. "Aren't they one and the same?" There was no other meaning she could possible think he'd mean, after all. Maybe this was one of his many games and she was too slow to catch on. Was this some kind of running joke she'd forgotten?
Well, this wasn’t exactly going as Jack originally hoped, and the worst part is that he didn’t even get to the most emotionally demanding part yet, he was hoping that he would like some how to skip the big emotional, painful part by merely asking Lux if she wanted to go out on a date…..Unfortunately, his choice of words wasn’t exactly the best.
Ok, slight stumbling block, but he could turn this around
“Oh yeah!” Jack said nodding his head vigorously bending his hands in various shapes in a typical flaily manner “Yeah, totally, absolutely they are….but no not really” he said with a strange sense of finality “There’s going out…..and there’s….” Jack paused and framed out the words like a Hollywood marquee with his hands “GOING OUT” he said his voice growing low and dramatic “You know what I’m saying?”
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
A sigh fell from the brunette's lips then. She wasn't sure why he struggled so with getting to the point, but really, how bad could it have been? Clearly, from the blank stare she was giving him, she didn't get what he was getting at. Had it been anyone else, maybe it would have been easier. But even she couldn't tell what was running through the mind of the Irish.
"No, I don't." She stated simply.
She looked at him directly then. "Is this one of your pranks?" She asked. "Is there something I should know about, but don't?"
In a wonderfully beautiful simple version of the world that Jack would travel to in a heartbeat, a subtle but undeniable note of understanding would come over those eyes and she would say “Oh of course!” And then fireworks would explode, in the background, the music would swell, and the credits would roll, and all will be well.
Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn’t it? If nothing else it would rip the band-aid off this very awkward conversation…..
….But judging from the look on Lux’s face that was wishful thinking,
“Yeah no, you don’t do you?” He noticed with a small sigh shaking his head that the words were failing at such a critical moment, probably during THE critical moments of his life….
Shit…he was going to have to say it wasn’t
He leaned over in place momentarily scratching the top of his head ruefully
“Ok, so, I’m going to say something alarming…..but just...just hear me out ok?”
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
Leaning back against the bench, the brunette checked her clock. "Alright." He told her not be alarmed, which usually meant he was up to something people didn't consider normal, but she was hardly worried. How bad could it possibly be, after all.
She didn't think Jack could really surprise her anymore. "I'm listening." She was tired and she wondered if this was something that really couldn't have waited. She wasn't about to say that out loud, of course. To Jack, everything seemed bigger than it really was.
Deep inhale in. Deep exhale. Tapping of his foot, opening his mouth as if looking to say something but then shaking his head wildly. Rince. Repeat. This went on for a good few seconds as a brief respite of awkward silence came over them,
A mild sensation of bemusement came over Jack, and he mused quietly to himself, a mild sigh left his mouth, that somehow sounded like a combination of a laugh and a sob, because that’s how Jack felt at this moment, he didn’t know if he should laugh or cry, he had replayed this moment over and over again in his head for several years, yet for the first time in his life, his mouth had failed him.
Great, now he shuts up, the one time he needed to start talking and his tongue finally gave up on him
“‘I’m….” Jack began then stopped again, no that wasn’t the way to go, “I loved you since the moment I saw you” might be a tad bit intense and just a little bit creepy at least as an icebreaker.
“I would….” Jack gulped, his Adams apples bobbing “-I would be interested in a date. Me. you. You. Me.”
There. It was out.
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
She could see the internal struggle clear as day in his eyes. She couldn't even begin to think of reasons behind it. Sure, Jack had always been weird, but he'd never been one to have a filter. He often, if not always, spoke his mind about everything. To see him struggle so was... Interesting, she supposed. It made her curious.
However, as the words passed his lips, the brunette didn't connect the words to their true meanings. At least not right away. She stared blankly at him before her brows furrowed.
"Oh." She said, turning her gaze away. There was a lot of things the brunette could have said. There was a lot of things she should have said. Instead, the first thing that popped into her mind was the first thing she said; "I'm already going on a date with someone."
She looked at him then. She couldn't help but to ask. "When? How long?"
