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Callie fought hard to keep her mouth shut when he started talking like he'd abandoned his siblings. She sincerely hoped that they wouldn't think of him in such a way. In her own experience, he was too in his head and that was a huge assumption.
Curiosity clouded her again when he mentioned something awful that he wanted to tell her. Considering all the things he'd been through, she almost didn't want to know what he considered awful. When he did tell her, it definitely wasn't what she was expecting. Then again, she didn't know what to expect.
"That's..." She dragged the single word out as she thought quickly; "Next level."
Next level, yeah that was one way to put it. Luca searched her face for anything else that he may have been missing. She was surprised, who wouldn't be? He hadn't exactly planned it out himself. Meeting her had been set up, dating her had been an obligation and a distraction and, well, the marriage thing had been pushed for a little harder than he'd expected.
That had been one of the biggest reasons for the fall out that led to him going back to the States.
Luca bit his lip and shrugged, "It was stupid and a set up. But it leads to a fun little wow factor, wouldn't you say?" He tried to lighten the weight of what he'd said with a smile, but he realized that it had probably been a bad idea to tell his ex girlfriend that he almost married a Romanian trophy wife type.
Surprise was definitely the first and foremost emotion Callie could feel. A very real part of her also felt bad for him, but she wasn't sure she wanted to express that just yet. She didn't know how he felt about it; obviously he didn't come back here married, so he got out of it somehow. It wasn't the time to judge him for something he probably had nothing to do with in the first place, but she was surprised he'd actually followed along with it in the slightest.
He was making light of it, and she had to appreciate the fact that he was trying. He even managed to pull a slight smile from her face, endearing as his attempt was.
"I'm so sorry that happened to you." She said instead, because at the end of the day, her skewed vision of love had no force behind it, "I can't imagine someone putting a person in front of me and telling me to love them." She couldn't even imagine trying to force herself to love someone she didn't.
Her words, while he appreciated the sentiment behind them, only made him feel guilty. What was the difference, really, between what his father had done to him and what he'd done to her? His father put someone in front of him and told him to love her. Luca had put himself in front of Callie and told her to love him in so many words. Over the course of the last few years, he'd realized that was where he went wrong. He'd gone about loving her in a selfish way and expected it returned because that was all he knew of love.
Now, well, he looked at things a lot differently now.
Luca shrugged again, "It's nothing to be sorry about." He wouldn't tell her why, but it was the learning experience that he needed. "It was just a thing that happened while I was away." And if that didn't paint a picture of the dynamic between him and his father, he wasn't sure what would. The fighting only gave away so much, but the depth of tradition that was forced down his throat, that was where the real problems lied. "I didn't want you to find out from one of my sisters, I thought it would be better coming from me."
Despite his argument, Callie still sympathised with him anyway. Love was a beautiful, glorious entity that was often difficult to achieve for most. Trying to force it was incredibly damning. Having someone else try to force it was even worse. She couldn't imagine putting herself in that situation; that's how bad it was to her.
At the mention of his sisters, she tilted her head to the side in an obvious brand of curiosity. Not one to leave a person hanging if she could help it, she had to ask; "Why would they tell me something like that?" Not only was it his personal information and story to share, but who was she in his mind after all these years?
Her question made him freeze for a moment and he realized that it had been stupid of him to say something. Lorena was no worry to him, but he could never be sure what Jezebel would bring up, especially knowing the way Luca regarded Callie. Therein lied the problem with her question, Callie didn't know all of the things he'd told his sisters about her.
"Oh, Jez, she likes to talk and sometimes she mentions things offhand if she thinks they have to do with the topic of conversation," Was that a good enough cover? The biggest worry he had was that they would give Callie the wrong impression, like he'd just been pining for her since he left. Although it wasn't a false impression, it made him look pathetic.
He bit the inside of his cheek and tried to laugh, "I like to try and get ahead of her motormouth."
Jez was his youngest sister. That much Callie could easily remember. As he explained how she liked to speak on certain topics, a very real aspect of it seemed believable. It wasn't as if she'd missed the way he seemed to freeze. She supposed the only way they'd see each other is at the place she now worked. It mightn't have been a place for someone younger, but it was riddled with Ivaskovs, so it made sense.
"I mean, your brothers and sisters are always gonna wanna talk about you to whoever's listening." That wasn't exclusive to him at all. It was a sibling thing.
"It's nice of you to tell me, though Wouldn't want an ex=fiancé to show up out of the blue." Regardless of their relationship, that could surely make everything a little or a lot ore awkward.
"I can't imagine you'd want to listen to them talk about me," Luca said quietly. He didn't mean it in a self-deprecating way, it just didn't make sense for her to want to talk about him with anyone. It made sense for his sisters to want to talk about him with her though.
He had to laugh at the crazy ex-fiancee thing because while he didn't expect her to make a trip to America any time soon, he wouldn't put it past her to be a raging lunatic. She hadn't even liked him that much, but she liked the money and he'd taken away any glam lifestyle she thought she'd have. Not that she was by any means poor. He took a deep breath and shook his head, he'd definitely dodged a bullet there.
"She wouldn't have any reason to create conflict with you, you were my best kept secret from her," But she was the only one. Even his father knew about his 'silly American romance' as he called it.
"I'd listen to anyone talk about you. So long as they said nice things." Was there really so much negativity about Luca? Surely his sister's would give great insight to the kind of man he was outside of all this. That would be interesting, if nothing else.
His response didn't exactly make her feel better about the now humoured possibility of an ex's visit to Stagfort. Not that it really had anything to do with her, but it did get her wondering.
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" Callie had to ask with a small laugh. Personally, she couldn't see herself feeling good about being a secret of his.
Luca smiled, but he wasn't happy about her response. He couldn't decipher why she'd care enough to listen to his sisters say anything about him. Let alone nice things. He still didn't think he was a very good person, but everyone in his life held him in such high regard. Like he could do no wrong, even though he did more often than not. "Lorena and Jezebel would definitely only say nice things about me, but I don't think they have it in them to say anything bad about anybody. Sort of like you," He mused with a grin.
Her question made his grin turn sheepish and he cleared his throat, "I think so. It's not that I was keeping you a secret out of shame or anything, I just didn't want her to hear how I talked about you." His eyes dropped to the table, "Especially when I first met her, I mean, I still wasn't quite over you."
Still wasn't, but he left that little bit of information out.
Truthfully, it didn't feel good when anyone felt the need to leave her out of the description of their life. Callie was almost sure he looked a little embarrassed when she questioned him about it. To her, it didn't really make sense.
Until he kept talking, anyway. The idea of telling a new girlfriend about a past girlfriend didn't make all that much sense. At least, not if he wanted to make it work with her. It felt like he had a sound reason behind his decision, and she knew she couldn't really judge him for it.
"I mean, yeah, I guess that makes sense." She said finally. "Sorry, didn't mean to kinda grill you about it. It shouldn't really matter either way."
Luca reached across the table, "Callie, you don't have to apologize. You can grill me about anything you want. I don't have any reason to lie to you or keep anything from you." Except for how he felt, he had plenty of reasons to keep that to himself and out of her reach.
He retracted his hand, but kept it sort of in the middle of the table. He didn't want her to feel like he didn't want to tell people about his time with her. It was the only time after his mother's death that he could say he felt something more than just miserable. He'd even go so far as to say he was happy. Being back, after running home expecting a different life, he wasn't sure he'd feel quite right. Coming back to her was the easiest part of being in Oregon, it made him tuck away his doubts about the club and about himself because he knew that she at least had some kind of faith in him.
"You're the only person that makes me think about things that I do. It's kind of nice having someone who wants to know the way my mind works."
Callie looked at his hand as it hit the table. She felt that her instinct was to reach out towards it, even as he drew away slightly. There was heavy weight to his words and she knew that before she even bothered to open his mouth. He clearly wanted her to do more than just listen to what he had to say; she was supposed to take it all in.
She did reach out in the end, settling a hand on his own and offering it a light squeeze.
"Come on, Luca." She offered lightly. Almost delicately. It was hard not to make the assumption that he thought he was so unworthy of so many things. She took it to heart naturally. "I can't be the only person who makes you feel that way."
He took a few moments to look at their hands in the middle of the table. Of course he hadn't expected her to take it, he always hated wanting to reach out but not being able to because of his ability. It was dangerous for him to do so with his twin and after the last few years being back with her, he had pulled back in on himself, suddenly aware that it wasn't as natural as it was for everyone else. Callie was used to it in some regard, but he still wasn't sure if he had a right to expect anything.
His eyes traveled back up to her and he shrugged, "I probably put that the wrong way. You aren't the only one who wants to know, but you are the only one that I'm comfortable with knowing." She'd never been judgmental of him, even when he was unpleasant to be around. He could say what he was thinking and she would look deeper into it than just accepting the surface content. It didn't even matter if it was because she tried or if that was just how she approached everyone, it was something he wasn't familiar with in regard to everyone else.
"I didn't mean to make the conversation so heavy. You'll have to excuse me, I'm out of practice on light-hearted conversation," He smiled.
As her hand settled on naturally cool skin, Callie thought nothing of the temperature change. She'd spent more than enough time with him to grow used to that difference.
To know she still had a special connection with him after all that time was surprising. She'd been sure she shattered any and all relationship they could have together. She couldn't help but look surprised when he disagreed with that thought.
She smiled for him when he mentioned how difficult it was to not have such a heart to heart. "Well, it's been years. We're not gonna sit here snd talk about the Stagfort weather." They couldn't possibly land on square one with such a history.
"I mean, I totally didn't expect you to trust me at all."
