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Pulling her knees up to her chin, Lena sighed. She knew how Damian was with Jace and she knew he could take care of the kid. But she wasn't the court. Her opinion was completely biased and the law always favoured the mother when it came to children.
Damian was going to need a damn good lawyer.
"Would you be any better than your ex?" Lena asked after a long pause. She wished she could help, she really did but she wasn't even equipped to help herself, what hope did she have to help someone with an actual problem that determined the future of a child?
Her question resonated with him and typically he'd have gotten defensive over the way it sounded. It sounded like she didn't know that he would be. It was one thing for him to be self-deprecating, but it always rubbed him the wrong way when someone else made him feel like he wasn't capable of the things he wasn't sure of himself.
He didn't have a right to be angry with her over her question though, and as he was sober, he could see that. Getting irrationally angry wasn't going to get him anywhere in this situation. So he didn't react the way he typically would have. He didn't get defensive. He took a moment to think about what she was asking. Was he going to be better than his ex?
"Yes. I...I want to believe that I would be," He wanted so badly to believe that he could be a good person in one person's eyes. "I would have to be, there's no other option."
She hadn't meant the question as an insult. Mostly she wanted Damian to find it in himself to stop being self-deprecating long enough to look beyond himself. To see whether he believed enough in himself to think about how his life would affect his son's.
"Exactly. You have to be better than your ex so concentrate on that. Don't get bogged down by how you'll fail as a parent. You're good to Jace. I've seen you be good." She reached a hand out to stroke his cheek.
"You can't quit cold turkey. Give yourself some time. I'll do what I can but I'm not your keeper, Damian."
Damian looked up at her and he did what he could to smile at her, "You're not and I wouldn't ask you to be." After a moment, his lips stretched into a more genuine smile, "It'd be too likely that you'd fall in love with me if I trusted you with being my keeper." Although he'd never worried about that with her.
He let out another huff and pushed himself back up on the couch beside her. Taking hold of her hand, he tugged at it, "Alright, Cavanaugh, your turn. Lay it on me, what's up with the friend? Did ya like this friend at all? I mean, like, really like. We're allowed to have moments of weakness for pretty faces. If anyone knows a moment of weakness, it's me."
"Oh please," she made a gagging noise at his statement. "If anything, you'd fall for me because I'm actually lovable." She flipped her damp hair over her shoulder.
Lena scooted to make space for Damian and pulled a face when he tugged at her hand.
His question made her roll her eyes before she sighed. Lena was a big proponent of quid pro quo. Unfortunately, her shit was still unresolved.
"No." She sighed. "Shitty thing is, if I'd met her before, she would have been the type of person I would have gone for. I'd have settled with someone like her." Lena pulled her hand away from Damian to rub at her face tiredly. "I just don't want to. I've settled before, it did not sit right with me. She became clingy and possessive and I couldn't deal. I can't do that to this one."
She groaned and tipped forward, her forehead landing on Damian's shoulder. "Why must feelings ruin things? I just want sex, damn it!"
In her explanation, Damian found some commonalities. If he were to be honest with himself, someone like Lena was who he'd have ended up with, too if everything hadn't happened. She was strong and didn't need anybody. It was something that he'd needed from someone he was with because in his line of work, there was always a chance something bad would happen. His ex held that over his head and expected him to magically change who he was. Lena never gave him flack for what he chose to do with his career.
He frowned, it was hard to find someone perfect for you after you stopped being who you were. While her last relationship was vastly different from his, the results were still the same. Neither of them could withstand functional relationships. And they were terrified at the potential for one. She rested her forehead against his arm and he adjusted so that his arm went around her.
"Not everyone handles getting screwed over the way we do. They become more emotional, we become less emotional. Sex is an emotional thing for a lot of people, women especially. Yikes," He shuddered. "You're the closest thing to having sex with a dude as I'd get because you don't get so clingy and needy. Selfishly, I don't want you to change a fuckin' thing," He stroked her hair and grinned.
Snorting at Damian's words, Lena couldn't help but recall her past conquests. "I think I've been with more clingy boys than women, actually. Some of 'em think they can handle just sex with me but nope. After one or two nights, they're calling me and asking how my day went."
She snuggled close to Damian and sighed. "I need more people to be more like you. Less emotions, more intuition in bed."
Her fingers traced lazy shapes over Damian's stomach. She knew they were done talking and she was glad for it because she really needed a release. Slowly, she clutched the back of the couch to swing one leg over Damian, straddling him. "Speaking of which."
Once she was comfortable in his lap, she ran her fingers through his hair and pulled his head up. A hint of a smirk played on her lips before they descended upon his.
Damian scrunched up his nose at the mentioning of his gender being clingy. Even when he'd been married, he couldn't stomach the idea of clinging to anybody. His ex had been suffocating for a while, until she wasn't and he hadn't seen anything wrong with her stopping. Well, before he found out why. He looked down at her as she traced patterns on his stomach and he shrugged, "Well, not everyone can be as amazing and incredible as me. Or as emotionally fucked over."
His eyes lifted to hers when she straddled his lap and he rolled his eyes dramatically, "I see how it is, only using me for my body. Fine, fine. Let's get this over with." He kissed her back and wrapped his arms around her waist so that he could stand up. Without hesitation or struggle, he headed to the small bedroom that he called his own. He tossed her on the bed and smirked, "What are the odds I could join that club you work at? I mean, look at these skills." Damian started humming some silly and supposedly sexual tune as he stripped off his t-shirt.
"Literally the only reason why you're in my life." Lena laughed, clinging on to him when he stood up. "Once you let yourself go, I'm taking Jace and running away." The redhead continued kissing him until she was unceremoniously dumped on his bed.
She snorted when he started to do a strip tease for her. "Slim to none. Nobody wants to see you in nipple strips and tassels, Damian." She shook her head and rolled her eyes.
But she humoured him anyway, whistling and catcalling him, clapping for his efforts. For the moment, she was just glad for the distraction.
