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Those words sounded almost lifeless, despite the way Natalie did her best try to keep a positive spin on the situation. Was time too much to ask for? She was sure that the request was reasonable, but it felt like tension rose even higher. What confused her was the apology that followed, and it settled into her features as she furrowed her eyebrows. It was an apology that didn't make sense to her. It didn't feel like it was honest, but she had no place calling the dancer out on that.
"Thanks," she replied instead, stepping back on her heel. She felt a series of voices creeping into her mind and her eyes immediately went to Jodie and Oz before returning to the dancer. "I should go."
Admittedly, it was a little embarrassing to be around the corner from thirty and just realizing such a crucial part of her own life. It seemed as if this woman had never had issue with the realization, and Natalie couldn't help but to be a bit envious of that. She smiled at the idea of knowing since she was nine, and she brought the glass to her lips to take another sip of wine.
And although she had the benefit of knowing for so long, Natalie didn't sense judgement in her voice. It offered a comfort that she hadn't entirely realized she needed - a boost of confidence. "That is lucky. I wish I'd been dared to kiss a girl years ago." She wondered how her life would have turned if that were the case. "I've always thought women were beautiful, but the ones I surrounded myself weren't exactly ideal partners." That much was far more obvious now. "And so - branching out."
It was so strange to think that a week ago, she wouldn't have thought to go out to a bar without being dragged in by a person. Upon first experience, Natalie had no complaints, and it absolutely had to do with the lawyer. As an unfamiliar hand pressed to her forearm, Nat felt the confirmation of heavy thought settle in her mind. Had there been any doubts in the corner of her mind, they dissolved with a spark of contact. No man could do that.
With the right question asked, Nat had no reason not to answer. At the very least, her curiosity seemed genuine. She wanted to explain. "I hadn't questioned things enough," she began, eyebrows lowering as she put in effort to find the best words to describe the way she had lived for so long. "Like why a man would ask me out, or why it never actually worked. For such a long time, I believed it to be a people problem. Now I realize that I was never looking at all, and just hoping the right situation would fall into my lap." Even if it was still fresh, it was amusing to consider, and Natalie let the humor settle into her features. "And now it's just so... obvious how wrong I was."
Natalie felt the smallest amount of relief when she was informed that she made sense, but as the dancer continued Natalie kept her eyes on the ocean waves. There it was, confirmation that she hadn't cared. Not truly. It was hard to keep a mutual expression, and she failed as her lips pressed into a thin, hardened line. Like that, Lena seemed like she could put it behind her.
"I want to keep our friendship," Nat explained, letting out a sigh. "But, I might need a little time." Slowly, her gaze started to turn back to Lena, hard as it was to hold her eye contact. She even tried to smile. "I'm not saying no." She reminded the dancer.
Natalie had to wonder if there were circumstances outside of the obvious that brought the lawyer inside a bar - especially learning that it was only her second time frequenting the establishment. For all the trainer knew, she could have enjoyed time spent at a bar, but if her judgement served her right, it didn't seem like the sort of place she'd see someone like her favoring. Then again, this was a practical stranger she was sitting next to.
Safely, though, her assumption had been a little right. It sounded familiar to her own story, and when the conversation turned towards her she had to find humor in the similarity. "Because I don't go out enough," she confessed. It almost sounded like an opt out, given that it practically mimicked the explanation given to her, so she continued, branching off into the differences. "I've realized that the bubble I've been living isn't what I actually wanted." She laughed lightly, shaking her head. "That sounds depressing. I'm actually quite happy, but it's long overdue for me to come to a bar and talk to a beautiful woman."
It was surprising to hear that she had come here before and hadn't found anyone; once her eyes landed on the lawyer, Natalie found it hard to tear them a way - and she knew she wasn't the only person in the room with that feeling. Even the bartender seemed captivated by her presence. Had their roles been reversed, Natalie imagined that she would have sat herself down next to her in a similar fashion.
A little laugh escaped her lips at the idea that they both felt lucky for the turn of events. Nat hand lifted into the air, pushing back a few strands of hair and tucking them behind her ear before she leaned in a little closer, if only to help carry on a conversation. "So what does bring you in? Other than a search for a fellow wine drinker, of course."
With the space between them dwindling, Natalie felt an all too familiar pain in her chest that she'd never expect the dancer to cause. Immediately, her gaze averted, looking out towards the grey waves crashing against the coastal line.
"I want something more than fun." Natalie replied, careful to make it known that she was using Lena's terminology to drive her point. "Even if it were casual," because it was obvious that that was the only way her friend functioned, "I need a little more emotion behind it."
As an explanation came forth, the trainer's eyes grew wide at the idea of someone forcing a student to handle a gun based merely on an ability rather than basing it around a student's actual needs. The idea was offensive to someone who dedicated her life to working with students. The purse of her lips were enough of a sign to show her disapproval, even if it seems the lawyer had gotten over it by now. She was curious how someone like that could have even been hired, let alone stay long enough to completely train a student.
Her lips opened to reply, but as a compliment hit her ears, Natalie felt a hint of heat rise to her cheeks. She could hope that any sign of redness wouldn't be caught, but given that the woman just explained that she had acute sight, she doubted as much. The corner of her lip pulled up into a smile. "I suppose I'm very lucky for that, then."
Another sip of wine, for good measure. "I can't believe I've never been in here before. Is it normal to find good company so quickly?"
Natalie was fortunate enough in her life to have never run into someone overtly spiteful towards meats, but it was normal to expect to find people uncomfortable with it. And there were always worse stories. For her to be a representative fighting to protect people was inspiring. "You're incredibly brave." Those that discriminated against people like them must have a very narrow minded opinion of the lawyer representing.
She knew her job carried a lot if responsibility, but it was surprising to hear it said out loud. "I want to give them the chance to be their best versions of themselves." Nat explained. "Why was he awful?" She immediately asked, not meaning to assume a gender on Teddy's former trainer.
Natalie looked genuinely surprised when she heard that nobody had said that about her name before. It was cute, but details of the woman's job came forth before she could think to point it out.
A lawyer. That was impressive, but it well suited the way this woman held herself. Her passion for it was clear, and Natalie had to smile at that. She could relate in her own field. Teddy managed to answer the trainer's next question with an explanation that she had recently moved from London - the accent was a giveaway.
"I train students to use their abilities at Bellefonte Academy." She stated confidently, even if most weren't so quick to point out their connection to Bellefonte, Natalie found no harm in it. "Was it just a new job offer that brought you here? Or were you looking for a change of scenery?"
The whole bottle; though she couldn't assume, Natalie guessed it wasn't just for the classy woman beside her. The back of her mind reminded her of the exact happenings of what happened the last time she shared an entire bottle with a person, but she pushed the thought out with another sip of her glass. This was completely different; inside a bar with a complete stranger, even if she was gorgeous.
"Teddy. That's a wonderful name." Natalie replied, enjoying the way it fell off her lips. It was charming, and surprisingly fitting for someone who wore such high class clothing, like it made her a little more approachable given the way she held a room. When she had a glass as well, the trainer tipped the top of her own in Teddy's direction, offering a light cheers to the mutual interest of wine. "So what do you do, Teddy?"
She was trying to be strong, and at the question her eyes squeezed shut as she took in another deep breath. Eventually, she knew she would have to confront the dancer, but she hadn't expected it to be right then and there. When her eyes opened up again, she looked concerned, because she still did care for the woman in front of her. Nat tried to smile, but it felt a little weak when she wore it. "You said you wanted this since we first met," she recapped, a hand rotating to gesture to the space between them.
"That was three years ago." It was a painfully long time to hold something like that - something that was apparently more than sex. Somehow, she managed to push forward despite the way her chest ached. "Maybe I just really don't know what you want? Because your words and actions contrast."
The woman in front of her was stunning, Natalie found herself a little surprised that she approached the trainer at all. It was welcome company, and she smiled warmly at her as she set her glass down. Her hands settled down on the bar top. It was a surprise to find someone else in a place like this that preferred the beverage over a classic beer.
"Oh, thank you. I'd love one." Natalie took the offer, though she had only initially planned for a single glass, she imagined a second couldn't hurt too much. With a pause, she realized she hadn't even caught the woman's name yet. "I'm Natalie."
When someone settled herself beside the trainer, her gaze shifted to the professional looking woman. She looked as if she belonged more at something with higher class than the town's local gay bar. What was meant to be a glance lingered a little longer when the woman actually spoke to her, and Natalie's eyebrows rose slowly. She tilted the glass up, tearing her eyes away as if to inspect the contents.
"It's... surprisingly good." She let out a light laugh, "I was honestly expecting worse." She turned in her stool, pivoting a little towards the woman to properly face her. "Do you prefer wine? Unfortunately I'm not much of a beer drinker, unlike a majority of the crowd here."
She never could have expected to find herself so easily walking into a bar. Natalie didn't often dive out on social adventures so quickly, but the idea of a glass of wine and a new environment were too hard to resist. And now, at least, she realized which bar to go to. The only one in town where a man's gaze wouldn't fall on her. She sat at the counter, long legs crossed and elbows placed upon the bar top, a glass of red hanging from her fingertips.
Reflection on the prior morning's happenings still ran fresh in her mind, but with the harsh turn came some sort of clarity. She turned her head, scanning the room to see the women that filled it. How could she have been so stupid for so long? It felt like a pressure had been lifted from her shoulders, and she tilted the glass against her lips to take a long sip, savoring the dry taste.
