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She couldn't get over how strange it felt to have Carter try to loosen the grip on the cards he'd always held so close to his chest. While she hadn't minded it back then, she didn't mind that he tried to open up, either. It was rather nice, actually.
Folding her hands together, she looked at him for a moment. She looked at the way his lips turned upward - not into a smirk, but something softer. It seemed unfair, then, that she hadn't told him everything. Things she probably should have told him, because they might have changed everything.
But she didn't. Not yet.
"You don't have to ask me twice." She finally said. "I'd like that very much."
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
A frustrated sigh fell from the brunette's lips and moments later, a smile appeared on her lips. She considered the question for a moment, turning to face the room he'd just showed her, hands still interlocked at the small of her back.
It was a complicated question - with an equally complicated answer. She wasn't sure how to best answer it, really. Or which answer was the most correct one. "Hmm." She mused, more so to herself than to him. "There is no simply answer to such a complicated question." She said, turning her head to look at him over her shoulder.
Still, she continued. "There's a lot of things I don't understand." She admitted easily. "You, for one. But I'd like to." She looked away from him once more. "Eventually." She knew she hadn't answered his question directly, and wouldn't be surprised if he called her out on it. Still, she hoped it would suffice for now. "For two, myself."
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
She'd never minded his pushing. In many ways, she had actually preferred it. While she understood that his intentions wasn't to shield her because he thought her too weak, but rather, a gesture formed from respect, she wasn't sure if she was ready to let him give that power up.
"You know." She began, fingers interlaced behind her back as she looked up at him. "It wasn't unfair either. I never minded being pushed." Still, she smiled at him. "But I appreciate the gesture nonetheless." It was her turn to feel unsure then; She'd never been granted the ability to speak her mind whenever she pleased - about whatever she pleased. Perhaps that only went to show just how used she was to people guiding her through a conversation. Perhaps she was the one not being fair.
She considered it for a moment: While she, too, didn't know where to place them or what she made of it all, she was more than happy with what they currently had - whatever it was. Did they really have to label it as anything more than what it was? "While I'm very happy to be considered your friend, I also wouldn't mind... More. But at the same time, I don't think there's any point in dwelling on something I'm not sure I understand yet, so why rush it?"
"We have all the time in the world, no?" And that was perhaps the biggest lie she'd ever told.
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
A small smile formed on the brunette's lips. "You never asked." Then the smile grew. Perhaps Carter wasn't the only one who held his cards tightly to his chest. While she didn't think she'd always been like that, perhaps it was something that had come to her naturally over the years. Then, most rarely, if ever, asked her how she felt. "But yes, I suppose it is." She said, shrugging.
Still, it wasn't as if she was unwilling to share. If he could, so could she.
"What do you want to know?" She already knew to some degree, but it was easier for her to work with specifics than simply assuming. She looked up at him, green eyes slightly amused.
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
A pout, followed by a sigh fell from the brunette. Nothing was ever easy with him. Though, was that really such a bad thing? Wasn't that was she'd always wanted? Leaning against the opposite side of the door and tilted her head.
"At not knowing." She replied simply. That was fine with her, really. She wouldn't have been able to answer the question herself if it had been directed at her instead. She was perfectly comfortable simply staying in the gray zone for now.
"You have to do more than just read." She pressed on.
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
She supposed she could understand that and while there was plenty of things she should have told him right then, she didn't. While she knew it was the right thing to do, she wanted to be selfish - if only for just a little while longer.
"Okay." She said instead. "Then let's leave it at that for now then." For now, she could be selfish. For now she wanted him to keep looking at her like she wouldn't break apart.
She looked up at him then, considering. "What do you usually do when you're alone?" She asked. "At home, I mean."
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
She had to bite down on her lower lip to stop the smirk from splaying over her lips. While she was glad she was able to counter him, she wasn't about to start underestimating him, either. She knew better than to think of them as equals when it came to such things.
To her, doing something like this seemed more interesting. As opposed to being at a restaurant, surrounded by other people. She spent most of her days around crowds of people. It was nice to have at least one night away from all of it. And it kind of took away some of the pressure, too.
"Quite the bold statement." Still, it was proof of how much he'd changed. How much he'd matured. While she didn't know everything about his past, even she had caught onto some of the rumors. Most of which she wouldn't have doubted were true. "So, what are you then?"
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
She considered that for a moment; She wondered if he was asking out of curiosity or if this was his way of testing the waters. Though, she supposed it didn't really matter. If she'd learned anything throughout her short life, it was that overthinking things never lead to anything good.
"I'd say that'd depend on whether or not you'd want it to be a second date - or just friends hanging out." She offered, matching his own shrug.
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
The idea of him not being excellent at something surprised her more than she cared to admit. But then she supposed it was only fair. While he carried himself with something most would claim to be superiority, he was only human, after all.
"I'd love to." She beamed at him. Though, she supposed he'd be lucky that way. Even if his cooking turned out to be terrible, she didn't think she'd have it in her to tell him that. "When?"
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
"Of course." She replied with ease. "If only you knew how much blood I've had to shed to get my hands on some of the special edition versions." She couldn't help but grin at that. Most people found her collection odd - and in truth, she could hardly blame them. It was weird. That was what was so wonderful about it.
She couldn't really picture him cooking. Or cleaning. Or doing any form of mundane housework. "Only if you enjoy it." She pointed out, but smiled. "Though, are you sure you're good at it? You didn't pay someone to tell you that, right?" She never considered herself a particularly bold person, but she'd come to realize she actually enjoyed poking fun at him. Perhaps it was the sense of danger that often followed when she did: As if she could never truly expect what would happen next.
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
"Between working two jobs, you can't hardly expect me to have the energy to do more." She laughed. Still, it was a question people seemed to expect there to be an answer to: As if she was expected to do more. She'd used to do a lot. She'd used to have plenty of hobbies. She'd used to be interesting - or so she'd thought, anyway.
Still, the brunette pondered the question: Of course, she didn't spend her off days staring at the ceiling, but with her ability and its repercussions, she was fairly limited in certain areas. "I've always liked cooking." She offered a shrug at that. It was such a mundane thing, but she enjoyed it. Trying and failing at making new dishes. "And you've seen my furby collection."
That alone was enough, wasn't it? "They can't be compared to being a painter, but they're pretty cool."
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
"Who knows?" She offered. While she doubted in to be true, she'd hardly given herself the opportunity to even consider something that required much planning or thought. "If I don't continue down the path of pouring beer, I might never know."
The latter part had the brunette's earlier playful demeanor sombering somewhat. "I hope so." She tossed another glance at the paintings. "You should show me one of your finished ones some day."
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
It wasn't for her to argue his choices, after all, though as tempting as it was. It wasn't her place to try changing his mind. In truth, it would be rather selfish of her.
"No one is made for one thing only." She said simply. "That's the beauty of having hobbies; you can have as many of them as you'd like." Another smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "Besides, no one likes their job. Not really."
"You can have it both ways, you know." She offered a simple shrug as she turned to face him, fingers interlaced behind her back and her smile grew into a sheepish grin.
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
"What do you mean 'nothing great'?" She asked, head lulling back and forth. "This is amazing." She'd always marveled in these kinds of craftmanships. She looked at him then, finally able to pull her gaze away from the paintings.
"It's not like you to be so modest." Her expression softened; she wondered if it was so personal to him that modesty, or insecurity, found its way through the well-built guard of arrogance and confidence he usually wore. "You shouldn't be modest when it comes to this."
Luxanna Cross
Never to touch, and never to keep. You loved too much, and you dived too deep.
Eyebrows shot up at that: She wasn't sure whether to feel surpised because of his past or stupid because she hadn't even considered it. Still, the brunette's lips quirked up in amusement. "Somehow I doubt that."
Following him, her amusement was quick to falter as she took in the new room he'd opened up to her. It was clearly the most personal room of them all and for a moment, all she could do was stare.
"You paint." She said, voice barely above that of a whisper, as speaking the words loudly would ruin whatever she'd earned for him to show her something like this. "Holy shit." She continued, before being able to stop herself.
She took a step forward, eyes moving around the room. Taking in every detail of it: words seemed to escape the brunette at that moment. It might have been a mundane thing for most, but she couldn't quite shake the thought dancing in her mind: extraordinary.
